I wonder what GOD is thinking about me every time I say, “GOD, if you get me out of here today, I promise I’ll NEVER come back again?” Two weeks later, after trying to survive on less than 100.00 dollars and now totally without an income, because my employer is also my abuser, and my attempts to find employment elsewhere is cyber impossible because my Resume’ ends up in a pile of the other two thousand submitted per day floating somewhere in the Cloud or on the desk of someone who doesn’t care that I’m highly intelligent, but grossly disrespected, alone, afraid and neglected and being threatened by a man who cares only about himself, worships money and hates women.
I’ve always wondered why my mother didn’t just pack up our stuff and leave my stepfather who would drink and threaten to kill her because he IMAGINED that every man who saw her pretty face was waiting around the corner in a fancy car with a tuxedo, a ring, and a bottle of wine just laying in wait to take his place.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d end up like her, after all I’m a college graduate whose held executive positions. I’m not a stay-at-home wife, afraid to leave the man who’s responsible for providing the food we eat. Yet here I am going back to the place where I swore to GOD that I’d never return. Why? Because HE provides the income, I need to purchase the food I need to eat.
I truly believe, without a doubt, GOD does provide. I just wonder why HE keeps sending the devil to deliver the check.
