SEVEN REASONS WHY
WOMEN STAY WITH AND FIGHT FOR MEN WHO CHEAT
- LOW SELF ESTEEM – Low Self Esteem is a lack of confidence in yourself, a feeling of being inadequate, incompetent, or unloved. This feeling may derive genetically, taught, or resulting from life related circumstances.
Low Self Esteem can negatively affect your personal and professional relationships and can be detrimental to your mental and physical wellbeing.
In relationships, people who feel worthless without another person, be it a partner who is successful, well known, well liked or highly respected in the community may result in you becoming overly attached to extroverted people. The more extreme result is to become more introverted and isolated to protect your insecurities or you act out irrationally or erratically whenever your partner / spouse is in the presence of someone who makes you feel inferior.
2. FEAR OF BEING ALONE – Autophobia or Monophobia may derive from abandonment issues, loss of a loved one or a traumatic experience.
In relationships you feel abandoned when your partner, friends or family members go out without you. You are not comfortable spending time with yourself. You may feel anxious, afraid, isolated, or unloved. If you are in a relationship with someone who cheats, you convince yourself that whenever that person is away from you, he is somewhere texting, calling or meeting with another woman.
3. FINANCIAL DEPENDENCY – Since the 1900’s women have been the woman of the house or head of household, the one who manages the home, takes care of her husband and the children. This woman does not work outside the home, has little to no business skills and has no income other than an allowance given to her by her husband for the purpose of buying groceries, and anything related to the home and wellbeing of the family. She is solely dependent on her spouse or partner.
However, women are not the only gender defined as financially dependent. Men who lack the ability to generate an income, or an income sufficient to meet their needs, often date or marry women having a substantial income derived from employment, retirement, pension inheritance or having been the beneficiary of a substantial inheritance. Men will often prey on and latch on to women with status and power because of their own inability to generate their own power status and wealth.
Women with low self esteem will support men who prey on their weakness because these women often feel Unattractive, Unworthy of love, Useless, Insignificant, and Inadequate.
Women who support men financially are often more likely to be vindictive and even violent once when confronted with the reality that their spouse or partner is cheating.
4. EMOTIONALLY, FINANCIALLY OR PROFESSIONALLY INVESTED – Women often choose to stay in a relationship with a cheater for the following reasons:
Emotionally – they have children, they have shared a loss that ties them together, as in the loss of a child.
Financially, she may have invested in a business, education or any endeavor that caused him/her to utilize a substantial amount of time and money to help their spouse / partner achieve their goals personally or professionally.
Professionally Invested goes beyond a monetary investment, this is a STATUS ATTACHMENT that would cause catastrophic problems for the spouse/partner if the professionally invested partner were to leave the relationship. The most famous example of this scenario would be Hillary Clinton, Ginni Thomas, wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas and Camille Cosby.
5. ULTERIOR MOTIVE – An ulterior motive or extrinsic reason for doing something. This is especially significant when the motives provided differentiate from the apparent or given reason.
In this instance a person remains with a spouse or partner who cheats, is after something. This person will always have a game plan when it comes to getting what they want and will usually deceive the unsuspected partner / spouse by using his weakness and/ or lack of mental or physical ability to their advantage. An example would be coercing the partner to sign documents that will unknowingly name him or her as the beneficiary of a life insurance policy, using the person’s status to accomplish their own goals etc.
6. SHE HAS A COMPETITIVE SPIRIT – Some women simply want to WIN at all costs. This woman will track down every woman she suspects her husband / partner is seeing with the intent of running the woman out of his life and ruining their relationship. She loves the chase; she is vindictive and feels vindicated when she has successfully broken the relationship. This woman can be violent, she will call the other woman repeatedly, destroy the other woman’s property as in her clothing, her car, and any social media accounts to get even. This woman latches on to her cheating husband / partner because she hates to lose and there is no greater loss than losing the relationship to another woman.
7.SHE USES THE AFFAIR TO ASSESS WHAT IS WRONG IN THE RELATIONSHIP AND / OR TO ESTABLISH WHAT SHE THINKS MAY BE WRONG WITH HERSELF – This woman is a voyeur who wants to know everything about her cheating spouse or partner’s affair. She evaluates his mood, his behavior, his time spent away from home, his phone calls as in how often she has called him or has he called her. In her mind she wants to know what is so fascinating about this other woman. What does the other woman have that she does not? How does she dress, what does she look like, what do they talk about? She hopes that she can use this information to change what may be wrong with herself. She believes that she is no longer attractive, no longer interesting, no longer intimately adventurous. She would rather try to change what is wrong than to confront or leave her cheating spouse.
Is your spouse / partner cheating? Where do you fall in this list of categories?
What, if anything, are you going to do to change your circumstances?
Ask yourself this question:
AM I BETTER OFF WITHOUT THIS PERSON IN MY LIFE?
Say this to yourself:
I DESERVE AN HONEST RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHO TRULY LOVES ME.
Make this promise to yourself:
I PROMISE TO LOVE MYSELF ENOUGH TO PROTECT MY PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL WELLBEING.
I WILL BE JUST FINE WITH JUST ME.
INFIDELITY IS A FORM OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE.
