The family that prays together, stays together as the saying goes, unless the prayer for your family is to end the reoccurring violence in your home.
Arguments and violence peak when families are together for extended periods of time. Weekends, holidays, and summer vacations leave little to no time to break away from an abuser. During the COVID-19 pandemic, the shelter in place restrictions have caused a rise in the number of abuse cases as the police, healthcare workers, and the government work diligently to lessen the death toll brought on by the Coronavirus. With such an overload placed on all public service workers at this time, it lessens the number of services to those at risk and increases the opportunities for abusers to torment and torture their victims while on pandemic lockdown.
Even the most loving relationships have succumbed to what has been coined, “Intimate Terrorism” while adhering to the stay-at-home restrictions. While most women desire affection and communication, a man’s needs are more competitive, work driven and recreational with or without his male counterparts. Adding insult to injury in these difficult times is the country’s accelerated unemployment stats. Men who are under-employed or unemployed are at a higher risk of becoming violent due to feelings of fear, lack of self-worth, and a host of other insecurities.
A lack of physical space can leave you feeling boxed in / trapped. Physical activities are often limited. Behaviors and habits that were often overlooked or ignored are now the fuel that ignites the fire within. Verbal coercion is a trigger for violence. Annoyance leads to agitation which if persistent and unyielding can lead to aggression, which when elevated can lead to violence.
Domestic violence much like COVID-19 virus is non-discriminatory, it is prevalent in every social economic class and background, has no preference of race, gender, or religion. Much like high blood pressure, known as the silent killer, it’s always there, it’s hidden, it’s elevated some days and is normal for a while, then out of no where you’re knocked into a state of emergency, leaving you to self-care or seek professional help, either way your life and your relationship are forever altered.
If you are in an abusive relationship; silence is not golden. You must tell at least one person.
If you are trying to leave your abuser:
- Do not tell him / her that you are leaving
- Share your intensions with someone you trust
- Try to maintain a sense of normalcy, an orderly routine
- Have an exit plan
- Enlist people you trust to help you
- Rely on a neighbor if necessary
Above all remember, your pride and reputation will have no value if the altercation results in a critical or fatal outcome.
If you need to call the police because of a violent altercation, just call. Do not tell the abuser that you are going to call the police in hopes that the violence will come to an abrupt halt. Most times the threat of calling the police will only enrage the abuser and incite more violence. If there are weapons in the house, hide them at the first sign of impending violence. Your first and only thought is to GET OUT SAFELY.
If you know someone who is a victim of domestic violence, child, or elderly abuse, minding your business is not an option. Saving a life is a human obligation. Please report any sign of abuse you see or hear; it could save a life.
If you are in an abusive relationship, there are agencies, shelters, counselors, and experts that are available to assist when you need help. Do not hesitate, make the call today. NOW! If you need immediate assistance dial 911. If you want to talk to an advocate, call the Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) 24/7/365 website: www.thehotline.org
If you know an abuser who is seeking treatment, we want to help. Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) Advocates are available 24/7/365 to make the appropriate referral to someone in your area that can help. Make the call today. NOW!
Psalm 11:5 The lord treats the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence. Let not your soul be weary. GOD loves all who seek and trust HIM.
