Lyric Golden Leigh
Lookingfor Romance, Companionship, someone to talk to? Well, there is someone out there looking, praying, and anxiously waiting for Someone Like You. It starts with an unsolicited DM, quote, “hi beautiful, how are you?” You may have liked a post, and the respondent looked you up and now you are it. He is the fish, and you are the bait.
I will label the fish as a male because I am a female who has only approached by men. However, the bait seekers are not gender specific, as anyone can hide their identity. I have gotten so good at this fraud. It is a game, and I reward myself when I have outsmarted the perpetrator.
So, here is how innocently it starts, “hey beautiful how are you?” What is your name, where are you from? Now here is the most important question, are you married with children, always asked in the same sentence, as if it is scripted. The answer to this question determines if you move on to the next level.
You ask if he is married the answer is always no or to get sympathy, he will say his wife died. Aww, that’s terrible moving on you ask where he is from, here he throws in that he is in another country working. You should leave right now. He volunteers to tell you that he is a doctor, when you have not even asked what he does for a living, and what person wouldn’t want to be married to a doctor(such a noble profession and always there should you need one?)
So let the games begin. I am going to walk you through the virtual date, pay close attention. I want YOU to leave this online date unharmed.
After the formalities, Mr. Predator says he is from Virginia.
Me: That is great, I am from North Carolina, we are neighbors, we are close by. Wait, here comes the lie.
Mr. Predator: Well, I live in Virginia, but I am far away from you now.
Me: Are you on vacation?
Mr. Predator: No, I am a doctor currently working in Zimbabwe, in the middle of the sea, on an offshore platform. It is an interesting opportunity, and I get to help so many people.
Me: That is wonderful.
Mr. Predator now asks again, “Are you married with children?”
Me: No and No
Mr.: Predator, what do you do for a living?
Me: I have my own business
Mr. Predator: Successful. That is great! I would love to hear more about it. THIS IS CRITICAL, Let’s talk on What’s App.
Me: I do not have What’s App. I say that because I found out that this is how they can access your personal information and because my sister is an investigator with a government agency, she’s always telling me to be wary of dating sites, however, I’m not on a dating site, this is someone who liked my social media post and started a conversation with me. So back to the conversation.
Mr. Predator: Well, just give me your phone number, we have so much in common, (do we? I say to myself) and I would like to get to know you better.
Me: It’s late, I should get to bed, I have an early meeting tomorrow. What time is it there (in Zimbabwe?) There is a long pause. I am almost sure he had to look it up.
We agreed to chat again the next day. He sends me a heart emoji.
We chat back and forth for two to three days. I am terribly busy working, so I have not logged on for days. When I finally log on three days later,
Mr. Predator asks, “Are you married? He tells me he has two children and would love to get to know me better, in the hope that someday I will get to meet them. He continues to say he needs someone in his life.
Me: I ask why he is not pursuing women closer to him,
Mr. Predator: Since he is in the middle of the ocean in Zimbabwe. He says, you never know where you are going to find love.
Me: I am not looking for anything but interesting conversations with people of all levels of society, which is why I am on this platform.
NEWS FLASH: Without my knowledge, my sister searches for his profile. She found out that the profile he is using belongs to a “Real” doctor who lives in Florida, who is married with children and has a warning on his social media account that someone is using his account to con women.
I log on to my social media account, Mr. Predator sees me there. Here is where the game gets interesting.
Mr. Predator, I have been thinking about you, yet I get a vibe that you are not as interested in me as I am in you.
Me: You are a great guy, but again, I am not looking for a relationship.
Mr. Predator: Well, you are a businessperson, would you be interested in a business relationship?
Me: Possibly. What kind of business?
Mr. Predator: Have you heard of the Gradient Grant Community outreach support program? It is a program the federal government is offering this year.
Me: No, but I will research it.
Mr. Predator: Well, it is a highly selective opportunity that has a policy not to publicly advertise. The gradient gives back to community outreach programs and devotes its resources in assisting America and other countries. The foundation strives to help the poor, distressed and underprivileged families who are at risk of losing their homes. Primarily disabled retired teachers, self-employees, employers, and colleges.
Me: I work with organizations doing just that which is why I would love to research this program and find out how I can assist.
Mr. predator: This is a new program established by the federal government in conjunction with the World Bank to help people in society to meet their needs. I got $50,000 delivered to me at my doorstep when I applied for the program, and you do not have to pay it back you can apply for it too.
Me: That sounds wonderful; however, I am not exactly trusting the federal government right now but thanks for sharing this information.
Mr. predator: Are you sure? This is a remarkable opportunity.
Me: Yes, I am positive, and you should be incredibly careful as well, but thanks again for sharing the opportunity.
Mr. predator: You are very welcome, nice talking to you.
Our relationship at that point has ended but as you see the relationship was not heading anywhere near us, being together, meeting his children and living happily ever after because we “have so much in common.” This was all a ploy to get me to agree to join him in a business opportunity which would ultimately lead to accessing my personal information so that he could gain access to my bank account and withdraw any funds available at which point, I’d never hear from him again.
My bank would not be able to retrieve the funds because people like him are savvy enough to hide their identity. I still do not know who he is. What I do know is he’s pretending to be is a doctor who resides in Florida, who has had this happen to him numerous times, so much so that he’s put a warning on his Facebook account, but someone who is not computer savvy would not know how or where to look for someone whom you suspect may be a fraud. The average person may not even consider that the person you think you are talking to is not that person at all.
Game over. The moral of the story is to be incredibly careful when dating online or when communicating with a person who suddenly seems extremely interested in you. Honestly, they ask the same questions repeatedly. It seems very scripted, and you need to be very savvy or if nothing else well-guarded.
Remember these things: If it sounds too good to be true, more than likely it is. Do not give personal information to anyone that you do not know. Do not enter any business opportunities without doing very thorough research, and the moment you feel that something does not seem right the best thing to do is to just end the conversation. Stay safe.
