MALE SEXUAL PREDATORS
2021 there were 144,300 reported rape cases. Only 300 out of every 1,000 sexual assaults are reported to the police. Only 25 out of every 1,000 perpetrators will end up in prison.
Men who molest come from every social economic background. Most male molesters do not fit typical stereotypes. Almost half of those guilty of incest also molest children outside of their family.
An unreported number of molesters commit adult rapes. 20% of child molesters are women. Fewer male victims of female molestation are less likely to report the incident because of the stereotype that all boys fantasize about sexual encounters with older women.
It’s the ideology that a forty year old man having sex with a 12 year old girl is horrific but a 40 year old woman having sex with a 13 year old boy is disgusting but not as horrific.
We have established the vilification of men who molest children harsher than women who end up almost always excused and labeled as psychologically unstable.
In both genders, it is believed by Sexual Molestation experts, that most sexual perpetrators were abused children who had no resources to make sense of their own victimization.
Like most men, they internalize their anger, their rage, their shame. The whole idealization of this immoral encounter is often buried in their subconscious until it’s evident in their inadequacies, their ideology surrounding their sexuality, the why did this happen, the what did I do, the how to cope questions that all go unanswered. So, the molested becomes the molester.
This is by no means a reason to excuse the behavior. This is not a fact based written in stone psychological fact that fits every molester’s profile. It is more likely a theory based on a collection of data gathered from years of information offered by male and female child molesters and adult rapists.
Most of us don’t care about the Why, we just want the molester punished for the crime. A crime that will more than likely remain a take to the grave secret and scar the survivor for life.
SO, WHO IS THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN?
He is the FAMILY MEMBER who’s struggling with his own sexuality, he has access and opportunities to offend that friends and strangers don’t have. He is sexually attracted to children and exerts a power over them that he doesn’t or is incapable of exercising in his adult environment.
He is a MAN OF FAITH who for faith based principles has made a vow not to engage in sexual relations with anyone or he’s a pastor who has a wife and family but acts on his sexual fantasies about boys, men and children.
He is your SCOUT LEADER, LITTLE LEAGUE COACH, CAMP COUNSELOR, OR TEACHER that has homosexual tendencies or is a closet homosexual.
He is a STRANGER that lures you into places such as a Public Bathroom, Clothing Store Dressing Room, Playground or Public Park.
He may even be a PHYSICIAN who touches you inappropriately during a physical examination.
Whomever the perpetrator is and whatever the circumstances may be, males who have been molested by a male may develop the following:
A FEAR of other men
A tendency to AVOID friendships with other men
May develop a FEAR of HOMOSEXUALS. This fear is known as HOMOPHOBIA
May initiate SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS with numerous women to prove their MANLINESS and/or to OVERCOME the fear of being homosexual. However, no number of female conquest will help to overcome your fears and insecurities.
IF YOU WERE ABUSED BY A FEMALE:
You may have felt OVERPOWERED, and ashamed that you were incapable of preventing what happened. You may prove your manliness as an adult male by becoming emotionally or physically abusive toward women.
You may engage with numerous women intimately or as friends but rarely are you completely comfortable with long term relationships or marriage.
You may have ERECTILE DISFUNCTION, PREMATURE EJACULATION, A LACK OF DESIRE FOR SEX OR AN OBSESSION WITH SEX.
You may develop a DEPENDENCY ON ALCOHOL, DRUGS OR FOOD.
You may become OBSESSED WITH YOUR PERSONAL APPEARANCE as in going to the gym excessively.
You may have PANIC ATTACKS, ANXIETY and NIGHTMARES.
Difficulty SUPPRESSING ANGER, SHAME, GUILT.
A VARIETY OF PHYSICAL SYMPTIONS MAY RESULT FROM YOUR ABUSE SUCH AS:
Headaches
Choking sensations
Genital pain
Back or Buttock pain
Blurred Vision
Nausea related to certain smells.
You may feel ISOLATED, INTROVERTED, SELF-DEPRECATING and even SUICIDAL.
WHAT YOU SHOULD DO:
Seek the help of a licensed professional, counselor, therapist, psychologist. If medication is required you may need or be referred to a psychiatrist or your family physician.
WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW:
Pursuing CRIMINAL PROSECUTION is a personal, wise, and commendable choice. This means reporting the incident (s) to the police.
You many want to CONFRONT YOUR ABUSER to tell him how his actions have impacted your life.
You may want to take REVENGE as a way of expressing your anger for what he’s done. The problem with this is that YOU ARE NOT GOING TO RESOLVE THE UNDERLING FEELINGS OF ABUSE AND YOU MAY END UP IN JAIL.
You may want to FORGIVE the abuser; however it is your choice to forgive or not to forgive, just be mindful that PREMATURE FORGIVING MAY IMPACT YOUR HEALING.
You may want to FORGET the abuse ever happened and do nothing. DOING NOTHING IS NOT THE ANSWER. HEALING YOURSELF IS THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISION YOU CAN MAKE.
SHARING YOUR ABUSE WITH A PARTNER OR FAMILY MEMBER is also a personal decision. Their support, empathy, love and encouragement is invaluable and vital to your healing, but it will NOT REPLACE THE HELP OF A PROFESSIONAL TRAINED IN SEXUAL ABUSE.
Lastly, RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE:
You can expect an INCREASE IN YOUR SELF-ESTEEM, your SYMPTOMS WILL DIMINISH, you will FEEL MORE IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE, you will FEEL FREE TO BECOME WHO AND WHAT YOU WERE MEANT TO BE.
IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW HAS BEEN SEXUALLY MOLESTED, PHYSICALLY ABUSED OR TRAFFICTED PLEASE CONTACT: THE NATIONAL SEXUAL ABUSE HOTLINE:
1-800-656-4673
FREE AND CONFIDENTIAL HELP IS AVAILABLE 24/7
