- In the beginning he makes you feel as deeply in love with him as he would like you to believe he is with you.
- After time, the love feelings begin to fade. It is because he has changed. You truly love him but be begins to show signs of who he truly is while you are hoping this is a phase, eventually he will change. (Side note he will not.)
- The inner therapy begins. To internalize the negatives, you decide that you are the problem, you adjust your personality to suit his wants and his needs, subconsciously or deliberately neglecting your own to please him with only one goal, that he will change. (Side note he will not.)
- You feel discouraged, you are so fed up, you begin planning your next move, you are thinking of leaving. He senses your intention, his manipulation instincts are on the rise, so he starts from the beginning when love is anew, fresh, and alive. He reels you in like bait, you are back in his arms in love all over again!
- Next move, he isolates you from your family and friends. At his insistence, you distance yourself from everything that matters to you. Now you are isolated, alone, and afraid. You begin to see the mistakes you have made.
- You wake up with a plan of escape. As soon as he is out of the house, you will make your move, but he is already way ahead of you. He knows what you are up to, he knows who you will call, where you will go and how to find you. He tracks your phone and stalks you.
- He finds you. Now you are terrified. He tells you he cannot live without you, he will do better, he is so sorry. They are all lies.
- You decide to try again. You end up pregnant repeatedly, and the last pregnancy you gave birth to twins. Now you have a huge family, and you are so busy being a mommy while he is out making babies with other ladies.
- You feel trapped. Boxed in. It is no longer only about you, your feelings, and your fears. You have children to raise. You need a roof over their heads, the children need a father who loves them. You need stability, financial security, you want a loving, “normal family,” most importantly, you want and need him to provide for each of those needs because you think you are incapable of raising your family on your own.
- Now he owns you. He can beat you, verbally abuse you, and mistreat you, but most importantly he will instill so much fear with words that begin with, “If you leave me…” the implication is you’ll never be safe, your worse fear is that it’s either stay and suffer the consequences or try to leave and if caught, you could end up unalive. The sad reality is you stay, leaving everyone you know, and those who know women in your situation all asking the same question. WHY?
